Transformative Healing of Lifespan Integration:
I recently was able to experience LI therapy and its transformative way of connecting me to myself, pulling me away from suffering, suffering from many years of childhood and adult emotional abuse. I am not a writer, but the power LI was able to reveal to me from within, motivated me to write my story. Below is a small excerpt from that story.
The Cracks on My Skin
Six months later after a horrific car accident, I found myself one day preparing to give a friend the Facebook version of my life when she texted, “So how’s life?” This is where I stopped dead in my tracks. Who was this impostor? I realized at that moment that I had to find the man that I turned my back on so many times. Sitting in the front seat of his car, I laid out all of my ugly truths and apologized. Without missing a beat, as if not a single second had passed in six months, he held my hand. He held my hands less than two years later, exchanging our wedding vows. It was not long though, before my already cracked skin, began to fissure, like an earthquake, glowing red with anger and fear. In fact, you could feel the tremors on the very day of our wedding.
You see, long before we met, I was born to very poor but tremendously industrious Chinese immigrants. My father was the typical hard-working, stoic man, emotionally detached from his children. My mother was and is the epitome of the dramatic, Asian soap opera wife, miserable to the life she felt was her destiny, she treated all of her children with disdain, especially me. I was commanded to give up at any sign of challenge because there was no way I could ever surmount anything with brains that were surely made of soy sauce. Beating me on the head with my heavy textbooks would surely result in automatic transfer of knowledge. And finally, I was taught by my mother and her church friends, that girls who had their menstrual cycles before the age of thirteen were sluts. I guess that explains the silent treatment I got when I was twelve, soiling myself and the kitchen chair, desperately trying to hide and stop nature with wads of toilet paper. It comes to no surprise that when I entered my first relationship at the age of fourteen, that I was in awe that someone could even stand to be near me, much less love me. This marriage was littered with derogatory name calling, broken objects, and constant reminders of what little worth I provided to the world. Monitored by cameras and constant surveillance, my sentence handed to me was that I was a worthless, salacious person, deserving of this imprisonment. The brightest ray from all of this was my son, for whom I will never regret having settled for the only form of love I knew.
Constantly accusing my husband of the same message imprinted in my brain and heart, I fell apart. Literally. On my hands and knees, fighting to figure out what was happening. Running away while also yearning to love him and to be loved, we pushed and pulled, struggling. Throwing harmful words at each other, I finally reverted to what I knew, and that was to inflict pain upon my own flesh. At forty, I reverted to age twelve. Humans, however, are amazing creatures at enduring not only pain, but also enduring hope. Knowing that I loved my children and the fundamental truth that I loved my husband, I finally sought help.
I had come to a safe place, revealing all my scars—those in my heart, in my mind, and on my skin. I was given the permission to grieve over the loss of innocence, safety, and love. I was in a place where I finally learned that anger was meant to be good and not a weapon to scare and harm. I also learned that I was perpetuating the cycle of years of abuse on my dear husband.
Over the course of my therapy, I experienced a transformative process where one could say I was born again, literally. Through a process called Life Span Integration, I was born over and over again, taking my adult self to the beginning of my creation. All this time, I had been just a little girl. A little girl searching for love and protection. A little girl who was scared and wanted someone to hold her hand. Through this therapy, I did hold her hand. I protected her. I told her she was loved, and I would never leave her side. I showed her her beautiful future, her beautiful children and husband. I was there for me. I am there for me. My power to heal and to love has always been with me. I am what I had always been searching for.
PM – November 2019
LI brought me the incredible healing I never thought was possible…
How I wish I could tell you this in person. I would cup your face in my hands and compel you to give LI a chance.
To overcome my anxiety and deep emotional pains I spent the better part of two decades verbally processing with counselors, reading self-help books, applying church sermons and retraining my thoughts to the positive, but still couldn’t quite break through. It was like something was blocking my head and my heart from believing each other. In a troubling situation, my emotions would fly while my brain tried to reason that I shouldn’t be responding this way. There was a deep part of me that couldn’t believe things were OK. My emotions spilled over like crashing waves, often very out of control. Not the person I wanted to be.
LifeSpan Integration spoke the core emotional language that my heart needed to hear. In my experience, trying to reason with my emotions has a very limited effect, but LI is an incredibly emotionally-intelligent approach to show the heart what it needs to know. Emotional traumas in my childhood had pushed psychological pieces of me to be stowed away in different places, unresolved. But LI gently walked back into my past, assimilated the pieces, and filled in the gaps. I didn’t know such healing would be possible. Since beginning my journey with LI, I’ve never felt so present, calm, and just–whole. It has been everything I ever needed when it comes to emotional healing. I feel empowered, in control, and like the person I was always meant to be. I cannot recommend it enough. Thank you, Peggy Pace for your work here. It’s changed– completely changed my life.
Hello. My name is Tina. I’d like to share my story with you.
I grew up in poverty with a single mother. My mother has Borderline Personality disorder. She was unable to care, sooth or nurture. That ultimately would lead to a lot of pain. Her search for love brought many men into my life: her husbands, boyfriends, babysitters, family members – all sexually abusive. 10 years of constant molestation, rape, neglect, terror – this was my life. I thought I had to do for others in order to feel any level of importance. That got me into trouble. People could easily take advantage of me. I would ultimately marry an abusive husband. I left him September 1, 2011 after 12 years. I know now, at 43, what I didn’t know then.
I am so grateful to the psychological healing process of Lifespan Integration. It helped me go through a process of healing I could handle while maintaining the ability to live through it. It was gentle process and provided the foundation I needed to remember horrible ,traumatic abuse while allowing me the ability go through the process at a pace I could handle without losing my mind. And trust me, there were so many times I stood at the ledge close to losing it. I’ve survived it, and doing well and eternally grateful!
This is my story.
I should be dead. I’m not.
I should hate God. I don’t.
I should be in a mental institution. I’m not.
I should be suicidal. I’m not.
I should be a pessimist. I’m not.
I should have borderline personality disorder. I don’t.
I should question the human race. I don’t.
I should have split personalities. I don’t.
I shouldn’t have hope. I do.
I shouldn’t want relationships with other human beings. I do.
I shouldn’t be excited about my future. I am!
The world does not define me although it would like to. The only thing that defines me is the life I’ve lived, how I received it, processed it and responded, and where I put my hope. My hope and my faith come from God. It really is as simple and as grandiose as that.
The Journey: http://thejourneyoftina.see.me
I can’t tell you how many people have come my way after they found out I was an LI therapist! I love what you have created and love the responses I get from my clients!
Shonna Porter, MACP
Standard Protocol can make a difference
Hello LI therapists, With permission, I am sharing this writing from one of my clients two weeks after an intensive Standard Protocol session. I am humbled and so grateful for this work! Best Regards, Shellee Potocki, MA, LMHC The Broken Heart
“There was a woman living inside me who had a broken heart. I was broken many years ago by the loss of a great love. I can see her in my mind’s eye: collapsed on the kitchen floor, wracked by sobs, overwhelmed by unbearable grief and pain and loss. A great gaping empty hole yawns in the center of her chest. The pain comes in waves–pounding, pummeling, drowning–so that she fears she may never surface again. She cannot sleep. She cannot eat. She cannot even enjoy music, or company, or escaping into nature, as all of these things are bitter reminders of what she has lost. All of her dreams for the future are shattered. She has lived there for many years, terrified of ever having to experience such pain and loss again. At every sign of relationship discord, she would howl and scream, “Oh god! Not again!”. Her fear would overwhelm me. I would feel as if I was drowning in it, paralyzed by it, almost blinded by it. Then a wise woman helped me go to her, support her, and hear what she needed to say. I thought she would want to howl and scream and rage at the lost love, release upon him all of her sadness and disappointment and anger. But when I took her hand to comfort her, when I reached out to give her my strength and support, I realized she didn’t need a man’s love, she needed mine. I realized that as long as we had each other, all was well. So I took her in my arms and reassured her that she is loved, and never alone. I gave her my strength and love and understanding, as well as my protection and what wisdom I had to offer. Her heart cannot be broken again, she cannot be left empty and alone. Because I am always with her. She has gratefully released her burdens of grief and pain and fear. Her long and vigilant watch against loss and heartbreak is finally over, she can rest now in peace and safety. She is no longer screaming. Finally, there is peace. We are one.”
Transforming my practice
So many of my clients are growing and deepening in ways they never have before (particularly those who have had past experiences with therapy). I am really grateful to have stumbled on to LI. It is transforming my practice. The Universe has gifted you with this and you are gifting all of us. I’m glad you were open, receptive and ready when the time came to learn and teach. LI is far more useful than anything I used before.
Aimee Rhoads, M.Ed
Dear Peggy and Cathy,
Thank you for all you have contributed to our field and especially to the many clients LI has healed from pain, suffering, confusion, and conflict. If I had not discovered your discoveries I would not look forward to going into work as I have since I have been trained in and begun practicing LI.
Just today I received verification that a most wonderful student at SPU has been healed of her emotional torment.
At age 9 while on a camping trip with her family, along with two other families, on a day she did not feel well, her family and most of the others took a day hike while she and one of the father’s stayed back. He molested her on that day and on the three subsequent days. She is now in her 2nd year of college, and had not told a soul until she shared it with one of my colleagues, her regular counselor. She counseled her utilizing talk therapy and the client while making some progress, continued to feel significant self-hatred, profound depression that she hid from everyone, an inability to care for herself only others, and a sense that she would die as a young adult.
When the therapist consulted me about the case I offered an opportunity to meet with the student and the therapist. In this meeting I shared with the student the LI approach and if she consented would move forward and provide LI, again with her therapist present. She admitted that she was very pessimistic about anything helping her, that she was a lost cause who God had long ago discarded.
After the initial consultation session, I provided two sessions of LI concentrating on the source memory (when the perpetrator first entered her family’s tent and she made eye contact with him and intuitively knew something awful was about to happen).
After the first LI session she felt a sense of comfort, empathy for herself as a child, and a renewed sense of hope.
After the second LI session she felt, and this was a shock to her, that she no longer felt depressed, that she had been doing kind things for herself without realizing it, that she felt not only hope but optimism, and she began to think about her future in ways that she never had before. The client also caught herself experiencing life in these new ways that already felt natural to her and then as she reflected realized how unprecedented this was.
Several weeks later I spoke with her briefly and she looked into my eyes with tearful joy, and said “thanks for returning my life to me”. Today I learned that she shared with her therapist, at their last session prior to the summer break, that she now has a new life and can tell that it is permanent and not temporary. She was grateful.
To any other therapist this may seem unbelievable, but to me, a therapist who integrates LI into his practice routinely, it has become a joyful routine.
Thank you both for making my career what it has become. I continually share my experience with others and connect them to the LI training.
Steve Maybell, Ph.D.
Peggy, the beauty and the healing I am seeing from adults who were victimized horribly as children is so dramatic and so transformative. You have provided such an amazing gift to all of us who are about connection and healing; the depth of change I am experiencing and witnessing in clients as well as in myself is profound. It’s positive, it’s energizing, and it’s healing at it’s very core.
Terri McLennan, LMFT
I want to express my gratitude for your creativity and generosity. The development of LI is amazing, and you sharing it is wonderful! I have always loved doing therapy; I get training in every new therapy available and therefore keep abreast of all that is available. However, I think yours is the best of the best. I am enjoying doing it so much, and am receiving it also. It really is brilliant, and thanks so very much!
Sue Goodell, MA, MS, MFT
I am really happy that I had the opportunity to meet you Peggy here in Stockholm and hope to meet you again. LI has really contributed to some great progress with several of my severely abused clients.
Ann Wilkens, Licensed Psychotherapist
Small miracles nearly every day
I have been doing therapy for nearly 25 years and have never enjoyed it as much as I do now. Now that I am using Lifespan Integration with my clients, I see small miracles nearly every day. When you think about being “off” in your thinking just a little, then letting that fester and grow over the years…making unhealthy choices based on irrational beliefs…what a difference LI makes!! Thank you Peggy and all for your “in person” and for your online teaching!!
Julie Verheul, LMHC
LI a god send
As I work with folks who dissociate a great deal (people with eating disorders and dissociative disorders) I have found LI to be a god send – much safer, gentler, and more effective than the many EMDR variations designed for dissociation. It’s also so much simpler, and the results seem to generalize better. I’m also especially sold on the birth protocol.
Judy Lightstone, MA, MS, LMFT
LI does it all
Wow! LI does it all. I mean it. We’ve all heard that old saying that “if something sounded too good to be true, then it probably is.” Well, not in this case. LI is effective with healing attachment issues, building affect tolerance skills, discovering internal resources, and the remediation of maladaptive behavior and thought patterns. Even my most difficult clients, those who have spent most of their lives in a dissociated state, with very little access to their “Core Self”, are making shifts never before experienced. What I like most about LI, besides the rapid speed of success it seems to deliver, is that I feel and know I am truly giving my clients an awesome tool, that I know works. Every single LI session, no matter how difficult or traumatic the case, leaves my clients, and myself with a sense of accomplishment. I can see the hope on their faces when they leave. I have always wanted to be a helper, ever since I was a small child. I have finally found the technique that my soul has been searching for. Thank You Peggy for developing such a beautiful tool, and for being the beautiful soul that you are.
Maureen S. Powell, LCSW
I have had great success with LI in so many ways! I have been able to clear up severe anxiety and bring amazing greater stability of moods for many clients with long histories of the same, even with clients who have had addiction problems.
Sharon Kirkland LCSW
Restructuring through imagery work
I learned early on from my former consultant, Landry Wildwild, that folks often need an internal restructuring through imagery work to fill in the gaps. I think LI facilitates the process at a quantum level. I am finding LI to be a fabulous tool for treating developmental deficits, and the resulting anxiety and depression. Obviously, there are some clients with whom I have to go very slowly, given their particular histories and issues with trust. For the most part, I find LI to be the most efficient and least retraumatizing means to a therapeutic end. I like LI because I can easily weave in imaginal work for the client to experience developmental repairs. The added Time Lines seem to be the key to connecting the client to their Adult once that imaginal foundation is in place. Amazingly, this seems true even when the person has very little developed adult ego. Thank you, Peggy, for your ingenuity. You have made a meaningful contribution to the field and to many in need.
Donna Morrish MFT
Effective and Expedient
The more I use LI with patients for anxiety, depression and blocking beliefs, I am realizing how effective and expedient the outcome of the therapy. I am so grateful to have this tool for difficult cases that have not responded to other psychotherapeutic methods. I am looking forward to any advanced trainings that you may offer in the future, regardless of CEU’s. Thank you for your immense contribution to the field.
Colette Cammisa MFT
I have been having beautiful success with your LI process. It is very energizing and lights the soul. Thanks.
Lali Mitchell, MFC
I have been doing traditional long term psychotherapy for the past 16 years and have always loved it. However, Lifespan Integration has not only truly transformed the way I work, it has also has changed my own life in profound ways. The growth I see with LI has been so much more accelerated and quite lasting over time because of the way the brain gently repairs and integrates traumatic experiences and puts the adult self in charge of the way we make sense of the past, with adult skills and many more resources than possible to the younger self who experienced the event. I am impressed with the gentleness and non-invasiveness of this therapy. The level of healing that my clients report is exciting and very encouraging. I cannot say enough about it and feel so energized at the possibilities for such deep and profound healing.
Nasrin Rousta, MS LMHC
I’m astounded how LI brings amazing results within a few minutes. Clients I’ve worked with for years are completing their therapy in just a few sessions using L.I. The best part of L.I. is how it resources while doing the trauma work. Abreactions are rare and are quickly resolved through use of the Time Line. Clients feel full and complete when they are done with a session. Lifespan Integration is the new energy work for the Millennium!
Becky Morehead, EMDR Therapist