Standard Protocol can make a difference
Hello LI therapists, With permission, I am sharing this writing from one of my clients two weeks after an intensive Standard Protocol session. I am humbled and so grateful for this work! Best Regards, Shellee Potocki, MA, LMHC The Broken Heart
“There was a woman living inside me who had a broken heart. I was broken many years ago by the loss of a great love. I can see her in my mind’s eye: collapsed on the kitchen floor, wracked by sobs, overwhelmed by unbearable grief and pain and loss. A great gaping empty hole yawns in the center of her chest. The pain comes in waves–pounding, pummeling, drowning–so that she fears she may never surface again. She cannot sleep. She cannot eat. She cannot even enjoy music, or company, or escaping into nature, as all of these things are bitter reminders of what she has lost. All of her dreams for the future are shattered. She has lived there for many years, terrified of ever having to experience such pain and loss again. At every sign of relationship discord, she would howl and scream, “Oh god! Not again!”. Her fear would overwhelm me. I would feel as if I was drowning in it, paralyzed by it, almost blinded by it. Then a wise woman helped me go to her, support her, and hear what she needed to say. I thought she would want to howl and scream and rage at the lost love, release upon him all of her sadness and disappointment and anger. But when I took her hand to comfort her, when I reached out to give her my strength and support, I realized she didn’t need a man’s love, she needed mine. I realized that as long as we had each other, all was well. So I took her in my arms and reassured her that she is loved, and never alone. I gave her my strength and love and understanding, as well as my protection and what wisdom I had to offer. Her heart cannot be broken again, she cannot be left empty and alone. Because I am always with her. She has gratefully released her burdens of grief and pain and fear. Her long and vigilant watch against loss and heartbreak is finally over, she can rest now in peace and safety. She is no longer screaming. Finally, there is peace. We are one.”
Hello. My name is Tina. I’d like to share my story with you.
I grew up in poverty with a single mother. My mother has Borderline Personality disorder. She was unable to care, sooth or nurture. That ultimately would lead to a lot of pain. Her search for love brought many men into my life: her husbands, boyfriends, babysitters, family members – all sexually abusive. 10 years of constant molestation, rape, neglect, terror – this was my life. I thought I had to do for others in order to feel any level of importance. That got me into trouble. People could easily take advantage of me. I would ultimately marry an abusive husband. I left him September 1, 2011 after 12 years. I know now, at 43, what I didn’t know then.
I am so grateful to the psychological healing process of Lifespan Integration. It helped me go through a process of healing I could handle while maintaining the ability to live through it. It was gentle process and provided the foundation I needed to remember horrible ,traumatic abuse while allowing me the ability go through the process at a pace I could handle without losing my mind. And trust me, there were so many times I stood at the ledge close to losing it. I’ve survived it, and doing well and eternally grateful!
This is my story.
I should be dead. I’m not.
I should hate God. I don’t.
I should be in a mental institution. I’m not.
I should be suicidal. I’m not.
I should be a pessimist. I’m not.
I should have borderline personality disorder. I don’t.
I should question the human race. I don’t.
I should have split personalities. I don’t.
I shouldn’t have hope. I do.
I shouldn’t want relationships with other human beings. I do.
I shouldn’t be excited about my future. I am!
The world does not define me although it would like to. The only thing that defines me is the life I’ve lived, how I received it, processed it and responded, and where I put my hope. My hope and my faith come from God. It really is as simple and as grandiose as that.
The Journey: http://thejourneyoftina.see.me